


The (almost) perfect plan

by Dahlia_Rose_83



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adventure, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Hippogriff, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Kidnapping, M/M, Poetry, Scheming Slytherins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 15:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12301935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dahlia_Rose_83/pseuds/Dahlia_Rose_83
Summary: What starts as a normal day, soon turns into a strange adventure with an unlikely ally. Why do these things always happen to Harry?





	The (almost) perfect plan

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Twice as Much as an Earthquake](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2291345) by [firethesound](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firethesound/pseuds/firethesound). 



> This was a spontaneous idea and I'm not really happy with the outcome. I'm just not good at writing humour, so please forgive my bad attempt. And sorry if the end is a bit rushed.

“Yes, Hermione, I'm sure. You two go and have fun and I'll see you later.” Harry said for what felt like the hundredth time. Ron finally got the hint and dragged his still protesting girlfriend off. Harry rolled his eyes and went in the opposite direction.

He was happy for his friends. He really was. But their lovey-dovey behaviour was starting to grate on his nerves and always made him feel like a fifth wheel, despite Hermione's best efforts to still include him in their life. It had only gotten worse since Ginny had admitted that she didn't want him back. That she'd fallen in love with Neville, while Harry had been hunting Horcruxes.

Hermione was still convinced that Harry was heartbroken and bitter, no matter how many times he told her that he was really not. In fact, he was glad that Ginny hadn't wanted him back. Lately he had started to realize that he might actually feel more drawn to boys than girls. One boy in particular that is, though he hadn't told Hermione yet. Or anyone else for that matter. He wanted to take some more time to analyse his feelings, to be completely sure, before he talked about it with his friends.

And for once in his life he actually had that time. After seven years of fighting Voldemort and fearing for his life constantly, he was finally free to do whatever he wanted. And what he wanted most right now, was to have a normal school year for once. Because like most of his peers he had taken McGonagall up on her offer to repeat his seventh year. 

They were called eighth years and thanks to the fact that they were all technically adults, they had certain privileges. Like rooming apart from the rest of the houses. They had been given their own common room, which was nice, since it meant less people who would stare at Harry. 

Unfortunately that whole stupid hero worship had only gotten worse. So Harry spent most of his free time hiding away in the eighth year common room, even if it meant that he had to endure all the happy couples there. Like Ron and Hermione. Or Ginny and Neville. Terry Boot and Susan Bones, Daphne Greengrass and Blaise Zabini and so many others. Sometimes Harry felt like he was the only single wizard in their year left. Well, apart from Draco Malfoy.

Today he had allowed Ron and Hermione to drag him off to Hogsmeade. They were really trying to act normal, but he still felt awkward walking next to them while they held hands and swapped heated glances. Which was why he'd told them to go on without him.

He dodged a group of giggling fourth year girls and ducked behind Honeydukes. This was getting really tiresome. He was just contemplating going back to the castle, when a young boy rounded the corner and stopped dead upon seeing him. By the looks of it he could only be a first year and Harry wondered what he was even doing here.

“Sorry, didn't see you there.” the boy mumbled, looking at him curiously. “Are you hiding?”  
“Err... yes.” Harry admitted.

“Me too. There's this girl who won't leave me alone.” the boy let him know. Then he opened the basket he was carrying and pulled out a cauldron cake, taking a large bite. He glanced at Harry and pulled out another one. “Want one? My mum made them.”  
He seemed nice enough, so Harry accepted the cake with a shrug. “Thanks.”

He caught the boy stealing glances at him while he ate it, but he didn't think anything by that. Maybe the little one had only just realized who he was.  
“I should...” he started to say, but suddenly a wave of dizziness washed over him. He shook his head weakly, realizing his mistake too late. “What did...” But he didn't get any further than this. Whatever drug had been in the cake started to kick in and he fell to the floor unconscious.

***

Harry awoke slowly. His back was killing him and his mind felt fuzzy. It took him a moment to remember what had happened. When he did, he opened his eyes with a groan.

“Are you awake? Oh thank Merlin. It was about time!” a voice next to him said. Something tugged sharply on his right wrist and then an all too familiar face appeared above him.

“Malfoy?” Harry muttered, sitting up slowly, forcing the blond to move back a bit. Again something tugged on his wrist. He glanced down to see what it was. And then he blinked. And blinked again. But the picture didn't change. His right wrist was chained to Malfoy's left one with handcuffs. Handcuffs lined with fluffy pink fur.

He raised his eyes to meet the blond's, who promptly scowled at him.  
“Don't look at me like that! I didn't do that. One moment I'm walking back from Hogsmeade, minding my own business and the next I get attacked from behind. And then I wake up here, chained to you.”

Harry opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again and looked around instead. He saw blank walls, a high ceiling, some old and mostly broken pieces of furniture and a dusty shelf in the far corner. 

“Where are we?”  
“I don't know. Some sort of cellar, I suppose.”

The Gryffindor nodded absently. He could see stairs leading up to a door and a small window high up on the wall. 

“Well, wherever we are, I suggest we get out of here.”  
“And how do you plan on doing that? I don't know about you, but they took my wand.” Draco let him know.

Harry's hand immediately flew to his pocket, only to find it empty as well. He'd completely forgotten about the handcuffs and blushed when he realized that he'd dragged Malfoy's hand over his thigh with the hasty movement.

“Ummm... mine's gone too.” he muttered, allowing the blond to pull his hand away.  
“And what now?”  
“Let's try the door.” 

They got up from the floor with some difficulty and made it up the narrow flight of stairs. Of course the door wouldn't budge and Harry silently cursed the fact that he'd never taken Fred and George up on their offer to teach him how to pick locks.

“Okay, the window then.” he decided after a moment's thought.  
“The window what?”  
“We'll climb out through the window.”

Draco looked at him like he'd lost his mind.  
“That tiny thing? You can't be serious.”  
“Of course I am. It's the only way out. Or do you have a better idea?”

“Yes, I do. If this is a wizard dwelling, it must have a secret passageway. We just need to find it.”  
“And what if it isn't?”  
“It has to be. Who would kidnap us if not a wizard?”

Okay, that made some sense. So the younger boy nodded. They climbed down the stairs again and started searching the walls for a hidden door. Which wasn't easy, with the handcuffs hindering their movements and Malfoy trying to pull him along all the time.

“There is no hidden door.” Harry said after a while.  
“There has to be.”  
“But there isn't.”  
“But there has to be.”  
“What if it's a Muggle house, owned by a wizard?”  
“That doesn't make sense.”

The Gryffindor sighed, already fed up with the situation.  
“Look, we can either waste even more time by searching for a door which might not even exist, or we climb out through the window. Unless you'd rather wait for whoever has kidnapped us to show up?”

Malfoy looked torn for a moment, but in the end he nodded.  
“Fine. And how do you suggest we get up there?”

It was a fair question, since the small window was high up in the wall over their heads. Harry looked around, until his eyes landed on the old furniture.  
“If we get that table over here, we could climb up from there.”

So they dragged the table, which was a lot heavier than it looked, but not quite as sturdy as Harry would have liked, over to the window and clambered up. It wobbled slightly and creaked ominously beneath their combined weight, but he was hoping that it would hold long enough.

At least the window offered little resistance and they were able to get it open quickly. Climbing out proved tricky though, since there was almost no room to manoeuvre and their joined wrists hindered their movements. 

After a lot of wriggling (from Harry) and even more complaining (from Draco), the younger boy finally landed hard on the other side, stumbling to keep his balance.

“Ouch, Potter! You nearly ripped my arm off!”  
“Sorry, I didn't do it on purpose!”

The blond muttered something under his breath and heaved himself up. Harry tried his best to help him, but of course the Slytherin wouldn't listen to his suggestions and ended up toppling out of the window head first. He crashed into the younger boy and they landed on the ground in a heap.

“Ow!” Harry complained.  
Draco at least had the decency to look sheepish and mutter a soft “Sorry.”. 

Once again they struggled to their feet and looked around. The cellar they had just escaped from belonged to an old, rather decrepit looking house. All around they could only see grassy, sloping hills, with a few trees scattered here and there. There was no sign of another building.

“Okay, I guess we just .. pick a direction and start walking. I mean, we're bound to encounter someone sooner or later, right?” Harry mused.  
“We'll go north.” Draco decided.  
“Why north?”  
“Be... because that's … that's just what you do, when you're lost. Every wizard knows this.”

The Gryffindor had never heard of that before. But he'd been raised by Muggles and there were probably a lot of strange wizard customs he hadn't heard of yet.

“Alright. North it is.” he agreed with a shrug.

They walked in silence for long minutes. It felt awkward, having to stay so close together because of the handcuffs. Every once in a while their arms or hands would brush and the small contact sent shivers down Harry's spine. He didn't want to think too closely about that reaction.

After a while he noticed that Draco was looking around nervously.  
“Are you afraid that whoever kidnapped us might be close by?”  
“What?”  
“You're looking like you expect someone to jump out from behind a tree any minute.” Harry pointed out.

“No. I'm just... just looking. If I see something I recognize, you know? To find out where we are.”  
“Oh, okay. Makes sense. Let me know if you do.”

They went on for another few minutes, until the sound of something approaching made them stop and look around warily. Seconds later a Hippogriff appeared from behind a group of trees. It was a huge beast, with gleaming black feathers.

Since Draco was only looking at the Hippogriff with large eyes, Harry took a tentative step forward and bowed. The Hippogriff stared at him, but made no move to return the gesture.

“They... react well to … poetry.”  
Harry glanced over at the blond. “What?”  
“They react well to poetry.”

“Who told you that?”  
“I... I've read it.”  
“You've read it?”  
“Yes, I did.” Draco insisted.

Then he looked straight at the Hippogriff and started reciting: “The fountains mingle with the river,  
And the rivers with the ocean; The winds of heaven mix forever; With a sweet emotion...”

Harry straightened up and looked at him awe. The lilting sound of Draco's voice did funny things to his insides and made his heart beat faster. The Hippogriff however didn't seem to appreciate poetry. It flapped its wings with an angry cry and took a menacing step forward. The blond fell silent.

“Umm... Malfoy? Any other ideas?”  
The Hippogriff tossed its head and took another step.  
“Run?” the Slytherin squeaked.  
Harry cast another look at the angry Hippogriff and nodded. “Yeah, but maybe we should...”

He didn't get any further than that, because Draco turned and started running up the next hill. And since they were still chained together, Harry was dragged along. They raced along the narrow path as fast as their feet would carry them. The younger boy had no idea if the Hippogriff was following them or not. He couldn't hear anything over the thundering of his own heart. 

When Draco slowed down a little he chanced a glance over his shoulder. Unfortunately the blond choose exactly that moment to skid to a halt. Harry noticed too late, crashed into him and sent them both toppling down the slope in a tangle of limbs.

The grass at the bottom did nothing to soften their landing. Harry once again ended up on his already aching back, with Draco sprawled on top of him. And the blond was actually a lot heavier than he looked.

“Ouch!” the Gryffindor said weakly.  
“Potter, what the hell?!”  
“It wasn't my fault. You just stopped without warning!” Harry pointed out.

“I stopped, because that slope was right in front of us.”  
“You could have said so!”  
“There was no time. You should have paid attention!”

The younger boy sighed and gave in, realizing he wasn't going to win this argument. And okay, maybe he could've stopped in time if he'd been paying more attention.

“At least the Hippogriff isn't chasing us any longer.” he noticed.  
Draco huffed and struggled to his feet, pulling Harry up none too gently.

“I'm going to kill Millicent!”  
“Why are you going to kill Millicent?”

The blond looked at him strangely. He obviously hadn't meant to say that aloud.  
“Be... because she...”  
“Wait, did she tell you that shit about Hippogriffs and poetry?”

Draco looked almost relieved, which puzzled Harry a bit. But the blond distracted him by saying: “She claimed to know it from a reliable source.”  
“Yeah, she should check that source.” the Gryffindor muttered, rubbing his sore wrist. The skin was starting to get chafed, despite the pink fur. At least Malfoy's wrist looked no better.

“And now?”  
“We continue going north.” the blond decided and promptly started marching, pulling the other boy along. 

“You're limping.” Harry noticed.  
“I hurt my ankle.”  
“Do you want to rest?”  
“No.”  
“Are you sure?”

Draco stopped to glare at him. “Yes, I'm sure. We don't know how far we are from the castle, or any other form of civilization for that matter. I'd rather not spend the night out here.”

“My friends will come looking for us. Yours too.” Harry stated confidently.  
The blond wavered. “They... they still have to find us.” he said after a moment. “And they won't know where to start looking.”  
“Yeah, you're right.” Harry had to agree. “Okay, let's go on. But tell me when you need a break.”  
Draco nodded and they continued walking in silence.

“I'm going to kill Theo.” the Sltytherin muttered darkly some time later, after they had reached the top of yet another grassy hill, only to see even more grassy hills in the distance.  
“And Pansy. And Daphne, too.”

“You're going to kill all of your friends, huh?” Harry asked with a smile.  
“Yes!”  
“And dare I ask why?”  
“Because it's all their fault!”  
“How is any of this the fault of your friends?”

The blond glanced at him and then quickly averted his eyes. “It... It just … is.”  
The younger boy regarded him curiously. He wasn't used to hearing Malfoy stammer like this. Then again, it was an unusual situation.

“Wait, you said you got attacked while walking back to Hogwarts, right? So you were alone? You think you wouldn't have been kidnapped if they'd been with you.” he guessed.

Malfoy looked relieved. Probably not used to anyone getting his weird way of thinking, Harry suspected.

“Exactly. They left me alone. It's their fault.”  
“Well, at least you've got someone to blame. I practically ran away from my friends.”  
“Why?”

Harry hesitated. “Because I feel like I'm intruding on their happiness.” he finally confessed. “Sometimes I get the feeling that wherever I look lately, all I see are happy couples. It makes me feel...”

“Lonely.” Draco finished for him. Harry was surprised by the understanding he could see in his eyes.  
“Yeah.” he agreed softly.

Their moment of understanding was broken by a low, rumbling sound. Both boys looked up and noticed with surprise that dark clouds had started rolling in while they'd been talking.  
“That doesn't look good.” Harry noted.  
Seconds later it started pouring.

***

It was already dark outside, when two sodding wet figures entered Hogwarts and made their way to the eighth year common room, leaving muddy footprints in their wake. All conversations stopped and all eyes turned to them when they entered.

“Oh my god, Harry!” Hermione exclaimed in shock, rushing over to meet them. “What happened? Where...?”

“Hermione!” Harry interrupted her rant, raising his arm to show her the furry pink handcuffs. “Can you get us out of these?”

Before Hermione could reply, Pansy Parkinson shouldered past her. “Let me.” she insisted and then muttered something under her breath. The handcuffs snapped open, finally releasing the two boys.  
“Draco, you look terrible. We've been ever so worried, darling. Come on, let's get you dried up.” she rushed on and then proceeded to drag the blond away. The other Slytherins hurried after them.

“What happened?” Hermione asked again.  
“It's a long story.” Harry said with a sigh and then motioned for her and Ron to follow him to the room he shared with the red-head, already fed up with the curious stares of their classmates.

Once the door had closed behind them, he started stripping off his wet clothes. When he grabbed a fresh pair of pants, he noticed a long, thin package on his bed.

“That arrived for you by owl.” Ron explained.

Harry quickly put on dry clothes and then reached for the package.  
“What is it?” the red-head asked curiously.  
“My wand.”

“You didn't have your wand with you?” Hermione shrieked.  
“No, I didn't.” Harry said, eyeing the package thoughtfully. It just didn't make sense. Why would his kidnapper sent Harry's wand back by owl? Then again, nothing about this kidnapping really made sense.

“What happened?” Hermione asked for the third time.  
So Harry sat down on his bed and started retelling the day's events.

“You're right. It doesn't make sense.” she finally agreed.  
“Yeah, who'd want to handcuff you to Malfoy?” Ron chimed in.  
“No idea.”

“There's something very strange going on.” Hermione muttered.  
“Well, at least I made it back before curfew. Maybe the kidnapper just wanted to land me in detention.” Harry joked weakly.  
“But there's more to it, Harry. Ron and I didn't even know that you were missing.”

He looked at the girl in surprise. “But … I've been gone for more than half the day!”

“I know, but... Well, at first we thought you just wanted some time to yourself. We got a little worried when you didn't show up in the common room after a while, but then Blaise Zabini said he'd just seen you with Hagrid.”

“He said what?”  
“That you're with Hagrid.” Ron took over. “So we shrugged it off. Only you weren't at dinner...”  
“But just when we started talking about going to look for you, we ran into Pansy Parkinson, who told us that she'd overheard you telling Luna you would eat down in the kitchens.” Hermione added.

“And it sounded like something you'd do, so we let it go.”  
“And when you still weren't in the common room when we got back, Daphne Greengrass claimed that she'd seen you walking to the library just a few minutes ago.”

Harry looked from Hermione to Ron. “So every time you started getting worried or talked about looking for me, one of the Slytherins showed up and told you I was fine?”  
“Pretty much, yes.”

Harry thought back to everything that had happened that day. And finally he realized what had bothered him about the whole kidnapping-thing. It had felt staged, somehow. Their escape had been too easy. No-one had followed them. And Malfoy had been acting really weird...

“Oh, that bloody...”  
“Harry, where are you going?” Hermione yelled after him, when he stormed to the door.  
“To have words with Malfoy!”

He marched down the hall and barged into the blond's room without knocking, finding all the Slytherins gathered around their prince, who was sitting in bed.

“...scared poor Wilbur!” Millicent was just complaining.  
“Poor Wilbur? That beast nearly killed us!” Malfoy protested.

They whirled around when Harry slammed the door shut.  
“I need to talk to Malfoy. Alone.”

For a moment they just stared at him. Then Pansy nodded enthusiastically.  
“Of course. Not a problem. Come on, guys.”

They all filed past Harry, who didn't miss the thumbs-up Parkinson gave Malfoy, before the door clicked shut behind them. The Gryffindor pulled out his wand and cast a locking and silencing charm with a careless flick of his wrist.

Malfoy scooted around nervously. “You … want to talk?”  
“Yes, I do. You know, it took me some time, but I finally figured it out. Now what I really want to know is, why the hell you staged all that crap today. Because that's what you did, right?”

For a moment it looked like the blond wanted to deny it, but then he slumped in defeat.  
“It was Pansy's idea. Mostly. Well.. the handcuffs were.”  
“What about the rest?” Harry demanded to know, stalking closer. “That boy who drugged me … that was you, wasn't it? Using polyjuice?”

“No.” Draco protested and then amended: “It was Blaise.”  
When Harry just continued to glare at him, he sighed. “The house belongs to Nott's father. He uses it to... visit his Mistresses. There is a hidden door in the cellar, but that idiot forgot to tell me that you need a password to make it appear.”

“So you knew that we'd need to go north? You made that stuff up, about going north when you're lost?” Harry guessed.  
“Yes, I did.”  
“And... the Hippogriff? That was the reason for you looking around.”

The blond snorted. “Wilbur!” he spat. “He belongs to Millicent's uncle. He breeds them.”  
“And she told you poetry would calm him down.”  
“Yes. I was supposed to calm him with poetry and then we would have ridden on it back to Hogwarts.”

Harry shook his head in disbelief. “You really staged the whole thing.”  
“And it all went spectacularly wrong.” Malfoy admitted.  
“What I'd really love to know is why. Why did you do it?”

“I... I wanted to impress you.”  
“Impress me?”  
“Yes, impress you. You've been ignoring me ever since we got back to Hogwarts. And...I just... I wanted you to notice me again.”

Harry looked at him in shock. That admission was completely unexpected.  
“You.. you did all this... You even faced a Hippogriff, just so I'd notice you?”  
“I know it's stupid, okay? Story of my life. Every stupid thing I've ever done, I did just to make you notice me.” the blond claimed, blushing slightly.

“But... why stage that whole kidnapping and...?”  
“You've always had these big adventures with Granger and Weasley. I mean, you fought a Troll in first year! And you three are so close. So I thought... if you had an adventure with me, you might … you might start liking me, too.”

Harry's head was spinning. He sat down on the bed and looked at the blushing Slytherin.  
“Why didn't you just talk to me?” he asked softly.  
Draco snorted. “With our history? Would you have listened? And what was I supposed to say?”

“You could have tried poetry.”  
“Oh, fuck off, Potter!” the blond spat with a glare.  
“I'm not trying to make fun of you.” Harry assured. “That poem may not have worked on Wilbur.” He grinned when the blond glared even harder. “But it worked on me.”

“You're taking the piss.”  
“No, I'm really not. Come on, Draco. Tell me the poem again. I want to know how it ends.”

Maybe it was the use of his first name, or maybe it was the look in Harry's eyes, but the blond finally gave in, starting to recite the poem, getting surer with each word:

“The fountains mingle with the river,  
And the rivers with the ocean;  
The winds of heaven mix forever  
With a sweet emotion;  
Nothing in the world is single;  
All things by a law divine  
In one spirit meet and mingle--  
Why not I with thine?

See, the mountains kiss high heaven,  
And the waves clasp one another;  
No sister flower could be forgiven  
If it disdained its brother;  
And the sunlight clasps the earth,  
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;--  
What are all these kissings worth,  
If thou kiss not me? “

Harry smiled softly and with a wildly beating heart he leaned over and pressed his lips to Draco's, surprised, despite everything, when the blond responded immediately. Maybe this day hadn't been so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> The poem Draco was reciciting is "Love's philosophy" by Percy Shelley. My favourite poem.


End file.
